Who I am

I see her in the mirror again. Her face is blush and full of color. Eventhough her eyes sparkle, they still speak a different story. They are filled with grief, frustration, as well as hope and confidence. She looks at me now, judging my every move. She sees my every flaw, every imperfection. I turn and walk away for she is staring right at me.

It's getting warmer outside, I wish it would just stay cold for Christmas. I'd rather it feel like winter than a spring day. Somehow, it doesn't really feel like Christmas. So much has happened during this year, it's insane. So many wonderful things, so many changes, so much pain and sorrow. I've learned so much in such a short amount of time.

In all reality,all I want for Christmas is a kitten and a long trip to Italy. I wish I was there. I want to see where my Nona came from, where my mom was born. I want to see the place that shaped and molded my Nona into the woman I remember her as. I miss her terribly. She is so much apart of my life now that I'm older, eventhough she isn't here. The music and movies I like. My mannerisms, many are hers. I will never forget how she would play tea parties and dress up with me. I will never forget her laughter, her games, the chocolate and cappuccino's she would feed me. She introduced me to Audrey Hepburn, Gene Kelly and so many of the old actors and actreses. She is so much apart of me. I love her and miss her so much.

I'll be baking lots of food over the next week, it should put me in a better mood.

That's all I have for now. I might add more later.
Ciao